Anyone up for a game of CLUE?

This is one of my friend Shyan's brilliant moments. It all started when my brother and his wife decided to come down to visit us. We had the brilliant idea to play some board games and so I invited my friend Shyan over, she brought the game clue. I mean who doesn't like clue you get to go around as an awesome character and murder someone with a freaking household item, then find out who did it! Its SWEET! Anyway, we all sat around the game board. it was my mother, my brother, my sister in-law, Shyan and ME! All was going well, we had our munchies and was playing and thinking nothing of it till my dad came out and was like "Wow are you guys still on the same game? Its been like 45 minutes." We all looked around at each other and shrugged and kept playing. We were all eying each other about 15 minutes later like we knew who did it. we all had that evil little smirk and that funny look in our eyes. We badgered each other with words and poked fun. Then my brother Trevor was like "Okay, I'm looking." we all shouted NO and he was like "I lost anyway so at least let me see." we all fussed then gave in. Trevor opened the little TOP SECRET envelope and started laughing. He shook his head a couple of times and then spoke " No one wins." We just stared like he had spoken a foreign language. He twisted the cards around and pointed. We automatically turned to Shyan and stared. She had been in charge of putting the cards in the TOP SECRET envelope. She turned bright red and did one of her nervous laugh's. She had put two weapons in and no room. I mean COME ON, you must be really blond to do that. Ive never done that so thats just sad.
Oh Shyan you are my Luver

seeeeeee BLOND I TELL U!
Lets just say after that we didn't play anymore game.

Srry!

Hey, I posted all off my blogs from Myspace onto my blog spot, thats why there are some many posted at one time. Im working on some new ones that will be up in a couple of weeks. Im gonna make a few links with my Myspace and my Youtube. They will be listed on the right if you wanna check anything out on there. I havent got anything really on my Youtube yet, im finishing up somethings then i will post the link.

Im gonna go eat a cookie now!

Crunch Berry!

I would like to start out with saying, "Poor Poor Tasha!" She is the main subject for this tale and it is quiet horrifying. This was the first time Tasha graced our house with her presence. She came over to stay the night at my house and yes she is meeting my family for the first time. This was when my brother still lived at home. He had his friend David over and we were planning on watching a movie Tasha was bringing over. It happened to be Resident Evil (**Note - Awesome Movies!***) Anyway, she came over and met my crazy mother and my brother and his friend. I warned her that my family was weird but she dared to enter! When she came over she did what a normal sane person would do in this situation. She was shy and a little scared of my mother. LOL! Anyway to get down to the point of this story. In the beginning of the movie Resident Evil, there is the part where the main woman wakes up in the shower. Well when she gets up and takes the shower curtain off to place on her robe. David had to point out that we saw her nipple. My mother of course laughed and told him to skip back to it. David being practically part of our family didnt think twice, he skipped back and paused it right there on her nipple. I wanted to die, like I needed Tasha to think me more of a freak than I already was. Well then my mother screams out "Hey it looks like a CRUNCH BERRY!" OMFG who says that? Tasha didnt say a word but I knew deep down she was like "WTF am I doing here? Im probly gonna end up with my pic on the side of a milk carton." I felt so bad, I just played along and acted like nothing was wrong with what was happening. Well I guess it wasnt that bad because hey me and Tasha are still friends.......right? -ponders- Yeah last time I checked LOL XP
Another adventure with ME!

Where's my Cup?

I have done many stupid things in my life and well this is .......... one of them! (***NOTE: I dont recommend anyone doing this. ***) I was hanging out with some of my friends on a weekend, Sarah and Ashley. Wait this all started with me calling to see what they were doing and if they wanted to hang, they told me that they were at the post office parking lot with "The bag" I of course got excited and told them I would pick them up. I got in my mum's jeep and went to pick them up. They got in the car and Sarah pulled a bottle out of her nifty bag, And what was in her hand? Green apple pucker *YUMMY*, anyway she told me to pull over and thats what I did I found a parking spot in the back of the post office and we all took a couple of swigs from the bottle. I told them that they should totally stay the night at my house, that my dad wasnt returning home for the weekend and that my mum never comes into my room. They agreed and called their parents. We all ended up at my house, where we dragged a futon mattress in on the floor so I could sleep on it, I knew that we wouldnt all fit on my queen bed and I really didnt wanna end up in another bad situation like I had before -giggle- so I gathered some shot glasses and cups, we had stopped at the store to get some coke cola. We sat down and turned some music on. We drank: Green Apple Pucker, Jack Daniels, and After Shock. Which I will never want any type of cough syrup ever again, for after awhile thats what After Shock tastes like is bad cough syrup. We did shots then we got our glasses and poured soda into the glasses and Sarah had control of the Jack, which she freakin put a shit load in my soda and didnt tell me. When I took a drink it about came out my nose. She thought it was hilarious, then I got the cell phone. I called Shyan, oh shyan, the sweet little shyan. I told her we were coming over, which if you ask anyone I have a tendency of repeating everything I say a couple times when I'm a drunk. I dont remember how many people I had called, but hey. Anyway we were in our Pj's and we headed down the middle of the street with cups in hand to shyan's house. She came out on the front porch, and looked at us like we were scary. I laughed, then of course the bad happens. Sarah bumped into me and what do I do I spill my drink all over me and Sarah. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world. She got all giggly and sat down on the cold wet pavement. I was laughing and talking to shyan, shyan kept telling us to be quiet because, her parents were still awake. I set my cup down on her porch and was dancing around. We got shyan to call james, it was really late and then sarah swiped the phone and ran into the middle of the street. Which was more of a stagger, and it was funny. When we finally decided to go I was turning in circles asking where my cup was, which I found on her porch. Go figure. Well lets see all we did after that was go home and drink more. Then came the following monday, lets just say it was cold out and I put on the same sweater I wore that night, totally forgeting that I had spilled anything on it. I went to first period and I had thought I could smell Jack but, I thought I was imaging it. Then shyan came up to me in Second period and was like "Did you know that you have a stain on your sweater?" My sweater is white with black skulls on it and misfits written all over it. Well when I looked there was a huge brownish stain on my sweater. Yeah, I didnt wash it. I got all wide eyes and pulled my sweater off and smelled it and behold the Jack! I even licked it to make sure, shyan laughed at me. I guess thats what I get for being stupid. I will just make sure to wash my sweater's after my weird days. Yes this is my brilliance!
Another adventure with ME!

Dog Bone Anyone?

This is another one of my stupid moments with Tasha, I was hanging out at her house and her mother was there. She happen to be standing in the kitchen and Tasha and I were standing on the other side of the bar. He mother was talk about something I really don't remember, then Tasha said something hurtfull to me, (Of course she is only playing) And I looked for the closes thing to me on the counter, which happen to be some type of hard chewed on dog bone. I shook it at Tasha and was like "I'll bone you to death!" There was silence and Tasha's mother looked at me like I was stupid. Tasha laughed at me, I of course didnt get it then. Then I thought about what I had said then I started laughing, Then Tasha snorted and I laughed even harder. Yes I had a moment!
That was another adventure with LYNSEY!

Oh look a Belly Button!

You know how puppies have those cute little tummies and their little belly button it bare and you just have to poke it, well this isnt one of those moments. It all started with the first time I went over to my friend Tasha's house, We had been locked out of her house when we got there and we both were dancing around because, we both had to pee. Like majorly Pee, I've never had to pee so bad in my life, Anyway, Her mother had to come home to let us in. We fought over who got the bathroom first, I dont remember who got in their first but, I was quickly drawn to the giant cage by her bathroom. She smiled and was like "They are farrets." I of course got all excited about the cute little furry animals, she was like "You wanna hold one?" I of course agreed with enthusiasm, she handed me the masked face one named Taz, and yes Taz is a boy. I of course was playing with it then was intrigued with its little round belly. Then I saw that cute little belly button, and what do I do? I poke it of course, I giggled and was like, "Look Tasha, look at the cute belly button!" Tasha looked at me for a moment and burst out laughing like crazy, she was like, "OMG Lynsey, thats not his belly button!" I dropped my hand away and was to enthused anymore. Tasha never lets me forget that.
So really think before you poke something you might think is cute!
That is another adventure with ME!!!

My Kinda DRUG!

I have this problem, I have a tendency of buy movies. If I go into any store I have to buy a movie, or i go threw withdrawls. My mother has to drag me away from the movie section. I am not aloud to go into the movie store without supervision. I am trying my hardest, everyone I know thinks that i need help. That is not my only problem, I have a built in bookcase which holds all of my movies. I have to have them in Alphabetical order, they have to be strait and no movie goes anywere without its case. I have a tendency of walking by and making sure they are all perfect. Maybe its an OCD thing i dont know. I also wont let anyone barrow any of my movies, not even my one family. The only person I have ever let barrow movies was my friend tasha, I guess its cause i trust her. I have been really good about not buying movies lately. I havent bought any movies in like three months. I think I'm doing good, or maybe its because I dont have any money. That may be it LOL. You would not imagine how many people would ask to barrow a movie, and I would breakout in a cold sweat and freak telling them no flat out. You think thats sad you should see the list of movies I want. I put a number to it and it came out to be 867. Wow right, yeah I know. I dont know why I am like this, I'm not like this with anything else, Well my video games and my anime but they are pretty much in the same family as my Dvd's. Well this isnt really one of my funny stories sorry. I just thought i would share my drug problem.
"Hi my name is LYNSEY, and I've been clean for three months!"

Oh MattG

For those of you who dont know who MATTG is then, SHAME! He is a kid on YOUTUBE, one of the best and funniest ppl. One of my friends thought it would be funny to send him a little poem and hope he would say something about it in one of his videos. This person will remain Anonymous for certain reasons. But I find it fucking funny and I hope that he responds!
Oh MattG
Oh MattG
You arouse me so much,
It makes me want to pee.
Oh MattG
Oh MattG
Your so sexy and hot.
I touch myself to you a lot.
You and your racist cookie.
Do you wanna a nookie?
I could be your one and only,
Or just when your lonely.
I do not mind,
You can even have my behind!
Will you think of me,
When you have to pee?
I would jump threw a hoop,
When you talk about poop.
Oh MattG
Oh MattG
You arouse me so much,
It makes me got to pee.
Oh MattG
Oh MattG
I find this one of the funniest poems I've ever heard and I pray it finds the right person!

The Bathroom Stall

Okay, there was this one day my friend Tasha and I got really bored and thought that we should go hang at the library. What we did was took some supplies with us also, the contents included: A box of Seventh Heaven Condoms & Hair Gel. LMAO now now dont think naughty......... anyway we thought it would be funny to have this contest on who could keep their condom the longest without breaking it (Note *** which ended up involving other ppl also***). It was kinda like when you took that class were you had to carrie around those freakin electronic babies and hope to god you dont kill it, well it was kinda like that but these were a little more easier to hide LOL. So with our contents in a bag we headed into the library. We decided it would be best to do our little mission of filling the condoms somewhere other than Tasha's house because, dont you think her mom might have found it weird the two of us huddled in the bathroom? I know I would. Well we headed for the bathroom which was the smallest bathroom in the history of library bathrooms, Im serious if you ever have the chance to go into the Nampa Public Library look at the bathroom its freakin small. You walk down this semi-short tight little hallway to get to the entrence. When you push the door open you turn to your right and there is a tiny little stall and a crooked swinging door. Strait ahead there is the Handicap stall, it is long and also contains a baby changing table. We both went into the stall and put the bag on the changing table. The bathroom was empty when we first entered but a lady about maybe her mid thirties entered to use the bathroom. When you first walk in, you can see our legs underneath the stall door. Who knows what that lady was thinking. Anyway we were laughing so hard becasue when we were squeezing the gel into the condom it kept making farting sounds and we couldnt help but think about what the lady next to us was thinking. We ended up laughing forever and getting gel all over. This wasnt the first time we had done this. We had ones from a couple of days before but, they only had water in them, And yes we had them with us. They do make great stress relievers, well we finally finished and tied them off and cleaned up. We wondered around the library for a while then called her mum to pick us up. (**No Car** -crys- this was a while back) We decided it would be best to sit outside on this bench and wait for her mum, so we were sitting there playing with our water filled condoms when I heard a snap and a splash. I looked over, Tasha had this horrid look on her face. I looked down and bust out laughing, her water filled one broke all over her pants and right in the crotch too. It ran a path down the sidewalk. And to make matters even funnier, a man and his little daughter walked by about five minutes later. The man side stepped pulling his daughter away from the puddle, he looked at Tasha and then back down at his daughter and was like "dont step in the pee darling." I laughed so hard I about peed myself. After that her mum pulled up and we got in, she took one look at Tasha and was like "did you pee yourself?" Oh god that was a great day!
Another Adventure with ME!

Adam & Eve

Have you ever had one of the moments when you were absolutely tramatized by something your parent does? Well welcome to my life, a day doesn't go by that my muther doesn't do or say something to horrify me. I think one of the worst times was when we made a recent trip down to Boise. We went down there to visit my granparents and my niece, we stayed in a hotel called Mr. Sandman, anyway it was the day we were heading back to Baker, We were headed to the freeway when my mum told me to pull into this parking lot. I did as told, I didnt need to fight with her in such a closed confined space. When I pulled up to the curb I kinda looked around and turned to ask my mum where we were, when I noticed a huge red sign infront of where I had parked the car that read, ADAM & EVE! And for those of you who dont know what Adam & Eve is, I'll explain, Its a porn shop, ummmmm yeah that pretty much explains all. Well my mum wanted to go in there so I kinda just looked at her, shook my head and turned up the stero. She wander in and didnt come out for about twenty-five minutes. I just rolled my eyes when she came out carrying the famous "Black Bag" when she got into the car I didnt say a word, I just backed the car out and head for the freeway. We pulled up to a stop light, where I had cars on either side of me waiting for the light to change. I heard a rustle and then a buzzing sound. I yelped in horror when I felt a tickle on my arm, when I looked over my mum she had a great big grin on her face and a giant red dildo in her hand. My eyes got giant big, like a deer in the headlights (***which I have a tendency of doing***) I looked away and over at the car next to me which of course the ppl had to be staring at us. I wanted to die of mortification, I told my muther to put it away. She acted all innocent and was like "I had the lady at the counter put batteries in it to make sure it worked." I held up my hand and shook my head " Muther! I dont wanna know okay, Im already going to have nightmares about giant red dildos chasing me!" I seriously dont get why parents think its okay to tramatize their child. Maybe they feel it is their responsibility to make their childs life a living hell or maybe they just get off on scaring the shit out of them. I know that I have one of those parents who find it funny to do something like that. Thank the fucking lord for the day I move out, then I will have the chance to corrupt and tramatize someones else! -evil laugh-
That was another Adventure with ME!

The Single Light of HORROR!

Alright this is another one of those stories where I freaked myself out! My friends, Sarah, Shyan, and Ashley were rideing in Shyan's peice of crap car, well I really cant say anything because, she was the only one who had a car at the time. I would have had my mums jeep but she wouldnt be to pleased at what I had been doing with her car earlier ***Thats story for another time*** Anyway we were driving around in random places and Shyan decided we sould drive out toward Richland, Dont ask me where that is cuz I dont Fuckin know. Im the girl who cant even find her permant marker -cries, still searching- anyway Richland is a very remote place were there are mostly farm animals and hicks, most of the roads are dirt and that was what we were on. A dirt road, at around 11 p.m. Can you imagine FOUR girls in a tiny blue car, in the middle of NOWHERE, in the DARK! Well lets just say its not the best thing, we were driving down a very rocky bumpy road, listening to music and talking. Talking about what you ask? Well the obvious, What if we broke down? What if there was a crazed maniac out here? What if we came around the corner and there was someone standing in the middle of the road. Wow do we have origianl minds! Well it didnt help that around that area ppl are aloud to let their cows free graze so no fences. We were driving along and I saw some cows and of course got excited, I was hanging out the window and mooing at them. Yes mooing, hey atleast I wasnt barking like sarah has a tendency to do, which I might add is fucking funny at the right time. *another story for later* Well there was a pure black cafe wondering around along side its mother, mooing like crazy, Shyan slowed a bit and was like "I wonder what would happen....." and she hit the horn! The calf paniced and darted towards the car, Shyan sped up and passed it just in time, I looked at her in shock and then glared "do you have any idea who that freakin cow would have hit -motions with my hands- ME!" Shyan just laughed like crazy and kept driving, we saw alot of cows that night, we finally turned around when there were a shit load of huge rocks that kept scraping the bottom of Shyan's lowrider. It was pitch black out, no stars or moon, and we couldnt see the road and no house lights. I began talking about what if we broke down and the whole guy in the middle of the road thing again, Sarah and Ashley were getting pissed, They were just scared. Then we saw one light out in the distance, GREAT! Sarah was like I think thats a flashlight, I shook my head in denial, Shyan was like "No its car lights from the main road." I was still creeped out, when we came around large corner just before the main road, the SCREAMS filled the tiny car, (**note I screamed first**) the screaming lasted about a mintue till Shyan started laughing. I looked at her then back out the windsheild, we were screaming at the car headlights. We had freaked ourselves out so much that when we came around that corner and saw the cars headlight we paniced and thought it was someone in the road! LOL omg I love that story, I think it would be even better if you had actually been there but it is still funny as hell!
That was another adventure with ME, Till next time!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Have you every had one of those moments when you totally freak yourself out? Well I have alot of those, so I thought I would share one! Okay I was staying at Tasha's house and it was about I think maybe 9 p.m., it was dark out so we decided to go for a walk with the dogs. She had two great big dogs named Nike and Daisy so we decided to take them with us. She lived in a area were there is alot of houses but, if you go far enough down this one road it thins out and becomes one of those roads where you only see a house every few blocks then its open land. Anyway we were walking along and we were talking about the movie we had watched earlier, it was the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And of course we had to talk about what would happen if something like that happened in that area, STUPID! I TELL YOU STUPID! At the time we thought it was the freakiest thing ever, well we were walking along when out of now where the big ass fucking dogs came running out barking. They came out across the street, toward dasiy and I. When I looked up Tasha had Nike were clear down the FUCKIN road! Can you believe that she FUCKING LEFT ME THERE! Eventually the owners called their dogs away (Fucking drunk ppl I swear) anyway when I finally made it to where Tasha had Nike she was like "I'm sorry its just he isnt fixed so he would fight." WTF she left me -cries @ memory- anyway I'm getting away from the point, after that we were on edge and the next thing that happened didnt help either. We were walking along and I noticed a dirt drive leading up the side of the road off to the right. I could tell there was a house back there, but it was hard to see because of the trees. When the house came into view I kinda just stared at it, it was like an exact replica of the house in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. GREAT!!! -nervouse laugh- and then Nike had to stop and the hair on the scruff of his neck stood on end, and to add to that he started growling. OMFG I freaked out and was scared, I told Tasha it was time to leave. I laughed kinda at myself but I will admitt I was FUCKING scared. I mean I feel stupid now about it but, at the time it was scary and it didnt help that we had to walk back past those idiots and their gay ass dogs. If I had a hot poker I would have put some eyes out LOL! I just cant get over how she left me -cries- Oh well Im over it LOL!
That was another adventure with me!